#and sometimes that later date is like days

[mondaymelon]

— pocky for the malipo ⭑.ᐟ

⟶ ( kinich x gn!reader )

— in which... hey, does this even count as a kiss...?

— speedran this filler post for pocky day + kinch's birthday.. its single day too LMAO the coincidences are simply uncanny ..

— starts out w mualani + kinich for context , fluff !! reader likes sweets,, ...tw... use of the word orbs..

“awwww, c’mon!! it’ll be fun, i promise…”

mualani jumps up and down vigorously, her expression slowly growing more and more dejected. “the traveler told me all about it- this otherworldly tradition, y’know, with those little sweet stick thingies, they even gave me a box! it’d be a reallll big shame to waste ‘em, and wouldn’t it be super cool to do?”

recently, mualani had grown very invested in the idea of some date called “pocky day.” these sorts of random hyperfixtations happened just about every other day, but this time the obsession lasted a linger longer than most, all because of some eavesdropping on the traveler, who offhandedly mentioned it in some conversation… anyway, now that the day itself had arrived, 11/11, she was more excited than ever.

“just onnncee..! pretty please, kinich… xilonen? sharky??” seeing that no one here was willing, except for sharky, who wagged his tail in approval, mualani let out a wail.

kinich stared at her with a tired gaze, sighing slowly. “well, i don’t see how-”

“oHHH my aRCHONS, kinich, how are you so BORING?? when i contracted with this stupid guy, YOU, i thought itd be a little more fun than rotting in a cave ALLL day long but APPARENTLY not!!? live a little uGHHGH, you emo little ‘oooohh look at me im so distant and mysterious’ shut UPPP…” ajaw popped out of nowhere, face red and pixelated hands waving back and forth angrily. “c’mooon, surely you aren’t stupid and blind enough to see that this is the literally PERFECt opportunity to smoochy smoochy kiss kiss that one person you've been OGLING with those  big ORBS of yours huh????”

kinich opened his mouth to say something, but then paused. mualani watched with bated breath, squeezing sharky in her hands in anticipation, eyes sparkling, gaze screaming “oh????”. 

“...well… i guess… hmph, even someone like ajaw makes a point sometimes, huh…?” kinich coughed into his fist sheepishly, a barely noticeable blush dusting his cheeks. “though, i’m not ‘ogling’ them at all, ajaw- it’s- well, i’m just observing them. for a commission.”

“suuuUUUReeee palllll, whatever you say- YOU REALLY DIDN’T THINK I’D SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, DID YOU??? BLABLABLA LALALA I’m RIGHT AHAHAHH THATS RIGHT IM RIGHT IM-”

kinich swatted ajaw out of the air, in the way one would with a buzzing fly. he flew through the air, disappearing into the horizon with a sparkle.

“...ahem. mualani, i’ll be heading out now.” kinich turned around calmly, as if he hadn’t just committed battery. "if i may, could i get one of those ‘pocky’ you were talking about? i’ll repay you.”

"hehe... no need for repayment, just tell me how it goes later!" mualani, smug and beaming, handed over one of the boxes.

..and so the time had come.

"kinich?" glancing up from your work, you flashed him a smile. "what's the matter?"

well, it wasn't as if the saurian hunter didn't see you out often- he did. this little nook you had in the scions of canopy was, as kinich put it, "on the convenient way back" for all of his missions, and so the male found most evenings swinging by (pun intended).

no, him coming wasn't the issue here. but kinich had been uncharacteristically.. avoidant of your gaze. for the past five minutes he had been there, arms crossed and leaning against the door frame like they do in those inazuman light novels, he'd been staring at a crack in the floorboards. and to make matters more concerning, he had something strange in his hands too: some sort of box that he kept flipping around with his fingers.

"hey. kini'. we're both not great at words, so just tell me and get.. well, whatever it is. you wanna say over with." at the mention of his nickname, kinich perked up, clearing his throat.

"ah, that..."

ohh, so there was the problem. the eerily quiet atmosphere was because ajaw wasn't present... pause, now you were even more worried. kinich had somehow gotten ajaw off his ass?? unthinkable????

"is it an emergency? fuck, are we all going to die? tell me this type of thing earlier, kini', i need to pack all my-"

"what? no- i, mualani.. she, no, there's this holiday, today. the traveler mentioned it, and i thought it'd be fun to try out.. you like sweets too, so. here." kinich unearthed some sort of... stick? was he really trying to feed you sticks? c'mon now, you weren't that stupid-

"i can read your gaze. it's not like that. here, it's chocolate, just- hah..." kinich sighed, eyebrows pinched together, wearing the expression of someone watching everything go wrong. "give it a taste?"

you eyed him skeptically, before taking the stick out of his hands and taking a bite.

"...sweet."

"yeah?"

"not a stick."

"...yes."

"...give me another."

"not so fast, we need to play the game first." kinich took one of the sticks and put it into his mouth, all of a sudden looking a lot more... guilty? you couldn't quite pinpoint the expression on his face, something you'd been doing with a 30% success rate (the highest any natlanian had ever achieved). "whoever gets the last bite wins."

"...i'm just supposed to. eat the other end?"

"what, you can't?" the slight teasing edge in his voice reminded you of ajaw (just the slightest) and you immediately became exponentially irritated.

"hah, who said that? bet."

"..."

oh, so now he chose not to break eye contact.

"...a-hey, we're getting a little close, aren't we.."

"...if you wanna break it off, lose."

"...fuck, you-"

you grabbed him by the cheek, pushing yourself forward and, admittedly, forcefully touching your lips against his. whether by the suddenness or whether by the fact that you two had, well, "kissed," the esteemed malipo kinich let out what sounded like a sputter and fell backward, hands barely catching him from falling to the ground. sitting himself down, he looked up at you with flushed cheeks, mouth slightly open, and the edge of his lips smudged with chocolate.

"bleh. i win." sticking out your tongue, you motioned with your hands. "the whole box, it's mine now. winner takes all, or whatever they say in mondstadt."

kinich's gaze was observant, and under it you felt your face slowly begin to warm, realizing what you had just done.

"not so fast." kinich stood back up, recomposing himself in a matter of seconds.

"one more round. you caught me off guard."

(a/n) and then reader and kinich smoochy smooch smooch kiss kissed and single day was no longer single and happy birthday kinich really did become happy for kinich fuck when am i going to find me a partner <- has unrealistic expectations

context notes!! :

ajaw purposefully left kinich alone so that he could do his.. idk if you can call it flirting. pocky game w you. best wingman ajaw we all cheer (in reality he was tired of seeing kinich act all lovey dovey whenever you were around and found the tension suffocating so he decided to take matters into his own hands)

taglist (comment to be added / send in an ask on my sb): @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu-archive, @falors, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader, @fiannee, @aether-darling, @aioniela, @avensuersa, @dainsleif-when-playable, @umiloa, @intpessimistic, @keiiqq, @intpessimistic, @eutopiastar, @matcha-mintea

[madlori]

Facebook Official

whoops my hand slipped and I banged out 1800 words of fix-it fic in like an hour. btw i think the Abby connection is dumb but I'm making it work.

Three years after reconciling with Buck, newly engaged to him, Tommy gets a phone call from a certain former dispatcher...who's just seen some interesting news via a Facebook Relationship Status post.

*****

(also on AO3)

To say that the phone call blindsided him would have been the understatement of the century.

He was just sitting at home watching the game, having a beer, minding his own business. Evan was on shift — must be a busy one, he’d only gotten two text messages all evening, one bitching about not having had time to eat dinner and the other about idiots who texted while driving.

His phone rang. Unknown number. Normally he wouldn’t have picked up, but with all the wedding preparations, a lot of vendors were calling. It was a little late to be making business calls, just after 8 pm, but he’d quickly learned that business norms meant little in the wedding planning business. “Hello?”

“Tommy?”

“Yes?” A woman’s voice. Familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

Pause “You’re marrying Buck??” A slightly hysterical note of disbelief entered the woman’s voice as she said the name.

And all at once, he knew who it was. Shit fuck motherfucker why didn’t we get ahead of this one.

“Abby. Um…”

“Evan Buckley? My ex-fiancé and my ex-boyfriend are marrying each other?”

“Small world, huh?” he said, going for levity.

“Buck’s not even gay!”

“No, he’s not. He’s bisexual.”

“I’m…okay. I’m sorry, it’s just…this is a lot of information to get all at once.”

“How did you even find out? Don’t you live in Phoenix?”

“Buck posted one of those relationship status things on Facebook.”

“Oh. I barely use Facebook.”

“Me either, but Buck does, and I hadn’t been on there in awhile, but I logged on and that was like the third post I saw!”

Tommy remembered the day Buck had made the post. They hadn’t really put their relationship on social media much - Buck posted photos of them on Instagram sometimes - and he hadn’t done one of those stupid relationship status things for them until they got engaged. They’d trawled their phones for the right pic, eventually settling on one taken at a 118 barbecue of them together, smiling, arms slung around waists. He hadn’t said so, but he’d gotten a little emotional over what Evan wrote on the post:

Evan Buckley is engaged to Tommy Kinard.

“It’s been a long road, but we made it. Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this man. He’s the best person I’ve ever known. I love you!”

“Well…I’m sorry that was an unpleasant surprise for you,” Tommy said, carefully.

She sighed. “I don’t know that it was…unpleasant. But a surprise, for sure. How do you even know Buck? How did you meet?”

“We’re both firefighters, it’s not that surprising that we could have met, is it?”

“No, I guess not.”

“And he was at my old firehouse. The one you refused to ever come to. But I guess you went when you were with him, didn’t you?”

“You never wanted me to meet your friends. I guess I found out why when you broke off our engagement.”

“I’m sorry, Abby. I know I said it then, but I’ll say it again now. I lied to myself, I lied to a lot of people. It took me almost trapping you in my lie, when you did not deserve that, to break me out of it.”

“I forgave you ages ago. We don’t have to go over all that again.”

“I met Evan…I guess it’s four years ago? We started dating not long after. I, um…was the first man he dated. I guess I made him realize some things about himself.”

“Just transforming lives everywhere you go, huh?” she said, a teasing note entering her voice. Tommy was happy to hear it.

“Yeah, well, I almost screwed it up. I broke up with him six months later. He was diving in headfirst, too fast, just all in and wanting to move in with me.”

“That sounds just like Buck.”

“I panicked and ended it before I could get in any deeper with him.”

“It was too late, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. I was already in love with him.”

“He’s easy to love. Too easy,” she said, quietly. “But you got back together, obviously.”

“Took a little while. Almost a year. I dated a few guys, he dated a few people, but nothing stuck for either of us - I know now it’s because we were still hung up on each other. We have a friend in common and we’d hear about each other through him…but I didn’t really see him until we ended up on a major incident call together. I sustained a minor injury - just a scrape, really - and Hen from his house patched me up. I was sitting there on the ambulance deck, more or less left to myself, and he came waltzing up with that eyebrow raised like he knew all my secrets.” Abby chuckled, like she knew the exact expression he was describing. “He just said, are you done being fucking stupid yet?”

“And you were.”

“Yep. I was. He took me home that night and we’ve barely been apart since. Got engaged a year later.”

“You sound happy.”

“I am. I’m ecstatic. I can’t believe I got a second chance with him. I kicked myself for ending it like that, I don’t know what came over me.”

“I do. You thought you weren’t enough for him to want to keep you.”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“That’s dumb.”

“That’s what he says.”

They sat there not speaking for what felt like a long time.

“Well…” Abby said. “I feel like I just unloaded on you out of the blue.”

“You kinda did,” he said, smiling.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have called.”

“I’m glad you did. You know…Evan and I didn’t realize we had you in common until our six month anniversary dinner. In fact, it was that revelation that sort of started us on the way to breaking up for awhile. But that’s been so long now and it hasn’t come up in a few years. I almost forgot about it.”

“Gee, thanks,” she said, her grin audible. “I’m glad you’re both happy. I have a lot of regret over Buck, how I left things with him. I assume he’s told you.”

“He has. If it helps, he doesn’t have any bad feelings towards you.”

“It does help. Thank you for that.” She sighed. “I’ll let you go. I just saw that Facebook post and spiralled a little bit.”

“Understandable.”

“Please tell Buck I say hello. And I wish you both so much happiness, Tommy.”

“Thank you. And I will.”

She hung up. Tommy stared at the phone for a moment, then opened his text message thread with Evan.

You’re not gonna believe what just happened.

*****

When Evan got home at 7 am, they had their usual two hours to share breakfast and maybe a quick fuck before Tommy had to be on shift himself. They tried to sync their schedules so their off days coincided, but it didn’t always work.

“Holy shit, why didn’t we get ahead of that one?” Evan said as he burst in the door, not even bothering with “hello.” His shoes and duffel went flying and he bustled into the kitchen where Tommy was mixing the pancake batter.

“Yeah, I had the same thought,” he said, leaning over to kiss him hello.

Evan went to the coffee pot. “I didn’t even think about it, that she might see.”

“Neither did I.”

“How’d she sound?”

“Really surprised at first. Incredulous, even? Like in the what-are-the-odds way.”

“Kinda like when I found out we’d both dated her.”

“Yeah, but you’re my himbo now,” Tommy said, smirking. “No, she was just shocked. I gave her the quick rundown, and she ended up congratulating us.”

“Did you tell her it’s her fault we broke up for a year?” Evan said, popping a strawberry into his mouth.

“I think the proper person to bear the fault is me.”

“And also me. Who asks someone to move in after six months? Before even saying ‘I love you?’ And when you had a house!”

“I say we blame Josh. He got you all juiced up with that damn Glee speech.” After they’d reconciled, Evan had given him chapter and verse on his mind-boggling thought processes on that last fateful day.

“He got me feeling guilty, is what he did. That I judged you for lying to Abby. Overcorrecting is one of my special gifts.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Well, while I’m overcorrecting…why don’t we invite her?”

Tommy looked up. “To our wedding?”

“Sure, why not? She can flip a coin whose side she sits on,” Evan said, grinning like the mischievous imp that he was.

“Evan, darling, love of my life, we are not inviting our ex to our wedding.”

He scrunched up his face. “Ew. ‘Our’ ex? Makes it sound like we were in a throuple.”

“Ew, indeed.”

He cocked his head. “I dunno, though. The thought’s kinda sexy.”

“Not to me! No vaginas anywhere near my bedroom. Kinsey 6, remember?”

“Of course, my apologies.”

Tommy looked at his innocent wide-eyed face for a few beats. “You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“Can I help it if the thought of two people I have found intensely attractive doing sexy things is appealing?”

“Can I help it if the thought of Chris Hemsworth going down on you has gotten me through some lonely nights?”

“Okay, I get the point. Shutting up now.” 

Tommy put a plate of pancakes in front of him. “Your shift okay?”

“Fine. Busy. I’m a bit wired. Do we have time for me to bounce on your dick for a bit before you have to head out?”

“For that, I’ll make time.” He sat down at the table at Evan’s side with his own pancakes. Evan slid a hand over and squeezed his thigh.

“Missed you, though,” he said, chewing.

“I always miss you when you’re on shift,” Tommy said.

Evan looked up at that, meeting his eyes. “Tommy, sometimes I miss you when you get up to get a beer.”

The simplicity, the sincerity of it made his chest tighten a little. He leaned forward, put his fingers under Evan’s chin and pulled him into a soft kiss, just like the first time. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you, too.”

“And we are not inviting my ex-fiancee who is also your ex-girlfriend to our wedding.”

Evan grinned. “Deal.”

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

SVT helping a partner with trauma

Requested? Yes!

Genre: comfort

TW/CW: Implications of trauma

A/N: This will be less of a discussion about traumatic events themselves (if mentioned it’s brief only to give context), but rather the feelings and responses one might have afterwards. Trauma is varied and so is everyone's reactions to it, so I tried to include a variety of scenarios so there’s a little bit of something for everyone. 

A/N #2/Warning: Please use caution when reading if you might find the topic triggering. This is meant to be comforting, but if you find that it isn’t, come back later or skip altogether. 

Seungcheol

Money is an interesting topic between the two of you. At first, he thinks that you just like to keep a tight control over your finances, and he respects it immensely, applauding you for being money-smart. But he notices that you deny yourself a lot of things in an effort to penny pinch, and flat out refuse when he offers to ease your burden on little things like needing to replace something around your apartment or pay a bill that has an upcoming due date. In a vulnerable moment, you tell him the abbreviated version of the story - you depended on someone financially and then they left you with nothing, and you refuse to be stuck in that situation again. From then on he encourages your financial independence and for the most part respects your wishes for him to not spend a lot on you, even if it pains him sometimes. But you best believe the moment you accept it he’s already sliding you his card or heading to the store himself. Wants you to know that you can rely on him, but knows he has to earn that. 

Jeonghan 

You’re a flirt. It’s one of the things that he loves most about you. He's kissed you a few times since starting to date, but he notices how you pull back sooner rather than later, putting space between the two of you. You feel safer with words than you do with touch. He’s okay with that. If you ever try to explain yourself - doesn’t matter if it's a simple ‘I want to wait’, or a more detailed reason - he’ll shake his head. “You come to me if and when you're ready,” he’ll say simply without an ounce of teasing. I do believe that if and when you do approach him, he’ll want to have a not-so-sexy but still very needed conversation to make sure you’re both on the same page and he understands your boundaries. 

Joshua

On the very first date, you tell him you don't drink and don’t really like to be around alcohol. Noted, he thinks, and doesn't order another drink beyond the one he already has in front of him. He also doesn’t have a problem not keeping it at home. However, there’s a social element to drinking that is sometimes unavoidable. He sticks to non-alcoholic drinks with you when you have to go to these events and takes you home before anyone you’re with can be too far gone. You’ll tell him that he can have a drink if he wants and that he doesn't need your permission - but he's supposed to be the one that makes you feel safest, so he’ll shrug it off. He doesn’t miss it. 

Jun 

Absolutely respects your work ethic and even admires it. But sometimes he’s concerned by how you always go in early and stay late, take on way too many responsibilities, and never, ever take a sick day or vacation. When he asks you about it, you simply say that you can’t lose this job. He can sympathize because it would be devastating to not be able to do what he does for a living, but he recognizes that it’s not passion, but rather fear, that drives you to overwork yourself. Does little things like driving you to work so you show up on time rather than super early, or making plans right after work so you can’t stay late. He’ll also book a vacation to somewhere that you just can't refuse. Anything to encourage rest, really. 

Hoshi 

Bless his heart, but he's trying to be funny. He hears you come in and hides behind a door, jumping out at you when you enter the room. Does not expect for you to cry and panic, and cries and panics himself, profusely apologizing. Once you both are calm, he doesn't press for details, accepting your explanation that someone that used to be in your life used to do that sort of thing, but that it wasn't all fun and games. Will never, ever be doing that again, and if you're ever around his group members and they get a bright idea, expect that he'll put a stop to it before it even starts. 

Wonwoo

You’ve lost someone close to you. Whether it was a shock or not, whether you were there or not, doesn’t matter. He’s sympathetic to the trauma of losing someone and knows there isn’t a ton he can do to fix it. But he’ll do the little things. He’ll make sure you eat, even if it’s a little and even if he needs to feed you. He’ll make sure you shower, even if he has to get in and wash your hair for you. He’ll make sure you find a balance between sleep and activity, even if he has to gently drag you outside for some fresh air or carry you to bed himself. Also knows you can't really acknowledge any of it right now, but he’ll keep doing it anyway. 

Woozi

You guys don't fight, well, ever. You both are too laid back. But something big happens and you both have had bad days. Jihoon’s not proud when he loses his temper a bit, shouting. Immediately does not like how you fold into yourself and back away. You’ve confided in him before that your home life involved a lot of arguing growing up. He kind of feels like he’s looking at a kid version of you in the past and it makes him feel nauseous. He takes a deep breath, apologizes, and says that you both should cool down. Later that night, you two sit on the couch, talk it out, and promise to call a timeout next time one of you gets upset. Will absolutely never raise his voice at you again.

DK 

He checks your phone for something, not trying to be invasive, but because you had something he needed. He accidentally stumbles across quite a few reminders that you're way overdue for a check up at the doctor’s office. He apologizes that he was accidentally nosy, but asks if you’ve been able to schedule it yet. He can tell that you’re uncomfortable, bordering on scared at the mention of it. You’ve told him before that you were sick as a child and spent a not-so-insignificant time in the hospital and have since then hated clinical settings. So, so understanding, but also so, so insistent that you should take care of yourself. He’ll take off work in a heartbeat to go with you and hold your hand if it will help. 

Mingyu 

You both are working on a grocery list and you ask him to add another case of bottled water. He looks at you quizzically because you already have an untouched case in the closet and the fridge is stocked. You pause, frowning. “But what if we run out?” You’ll say in a small, worried voice. He knows you’ve lived through a natural disaster or two before you moved here. You don't talk about it much, but he’s seen clips on TV before about what that can be like. He nods. “You’re right. I’ll get another one.” He gets two. That closet will never be empty if it makes you feel better. 

Minghao

You’re getting repeated phone calls from a random number. When you tell him this, at first, he nods, kind of shrugging it off. Spam calls happen all the time. (God only knows I get like ten a day from telemarketers.) Still, he watches your anxiety spike every time it happens and gently presses for a bit of an explanation. You tell him shortly that you’ve gotten harassing phone calls in the past and have had to change numbers a time or two because of it. From that point forward, if he's with you and your phone rings from an unknown number, he's holding his hand out expectantly. Doesn't matter if it’s a telemarketer or not. Will always answer the phone for you or simply get you a new number until you’re comfortable. 

Seungkwan

Listen, I think he's ready to fight any day. He’s kind of surprised when you ask if he wants to meet your parents and especially surprised at how anxious you are about it. He sees why immediately because they aren’t nice people. Tolerates very few negative or demeaning comments directed at you and certainly won't tolerate any displays of violence, so I expect this to be a short visit ending with him deciding it’s time to go. Also won’t accept any apology from you for how they behaved and after some consideration will encourage you to limit contact. 

Vernon

When you tell him early on that you don’t drive, he just shrugs. He’ll take the bus or walk with you any day. But one night, you guys have gone out. When you walk out to go home, you realize it’s raining and that you’ve missed the last bus. Vernon shrugs, saying he’ll just call an uber or taxi. You panic and he’s kind of surprised. Still, he puts his phone back up and waits for the rain to stop with you before walking home. You tell him you got into a car accident years ago and your injuries were minor, but you still don't like driving or riding in cars. You say it’s one of the reasons you live where you do, so you can just walk everywhere. Will always stick by you no matter what mode of transportation you choose. 

Chan 

You express that you don't like your new job and he’s surprised, mostly because you were so excited to start it. You tell him your coworkers are kind of cliquey, and you don't feel like you fit in. He understands, telling you that they don't have to be your friends as you can work with them. Still, you tell him you can handle a bit of rejection, but you're afraid that they might become mean or hostile, like the catty women in the last place you worked. He encourages you to focus on work for now and feel out the situation for a little bit longer. It’s not the end of the world if it doesn't work out because you still have him. Cheesy, I know, but it does make you feel better. 

[caitie-potatie]

I'm having...... a situation in my current save (that I'm trying to 100% rn)

Marnoo (my sweet lil bunny disciple) is now dating Narinder, Kallamar, AND leshy at the same time. I don't know how or why she keeps getting picked up by these three, but they are distracting her CONSTANTLY now. She can't do her disciple tasks when one of these three is always pulling her away to chat or smooch.

More under the cut

Narinder was the first and i caught these two smooching behind the shrine before the little "narinder and marnoo are in love!" notif came up. Marnoo died of old age like a week later and narinder got with my loyalty enforcer in the meantime?? I revived marnoo and he's never gone back to his side piece.

Kallamar idk when that happened. I caught them smooching in the field (which is where kallamars hut is located bc he's a snorer) and didn't even see the notification pop up. They just... sneak off sometimes.

Leshy and Marnoo got WASTED at the drink house and kept starting fights with others. But leshy ran after marnoo and suddenly they're in love??? Talk about a Vegas wedding like damn.

In my personal lil storyline for my cult, Marnoo is the tailor for the cult after being rescued from anchordeep. She had tried to become one of kallamars disciples but couldn't hold against his requirements. And then she got put up for sacrifice :)

She has the gold skull necklace tho so she's been around a long time. One of the few who was around BEFORE I brought narinder in.

Now tho she can't even do her job bc her bfs keep coming to visit her all day long. I don't think any of the others know they're all dating her. Lambs gotta hold an intervention to tell these three idiots to leave marnoo alone so she can get her work done.

Anywho thanks for reading :)

[bloatedandalone04]

Dirty Little Secret

➪the one where you and tyler are in a secret relationship.

Warnings: smut, fluff, oral (both f & m receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, swearing, hair pulling, dirty talk, lowkey pain kink

Word Count: 2.4k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Yours and Tyler’s relationship was rather simple. 

You and he were together, officially, but secretly.

In an attempt to not make things super fucking awkward or weird for the others, you and Tyler decided to keep your relationship a secret, and for the most part it was working quite well. 

Originally, you started out as just friends. You were both content with that for a while, until it became very obvious that it wasn’t nearly enough for either of you. So you tried one date with him, and the rest was history. 

With that being said, the crew were all very close to each other, but no one had crossed romantic boundaries. Except for you and Tyler, but no one knew. In fear of things going wrong or the two of you breaking up (though it was becoming more and more clear that you and Tyler were in this for the long haul), the decision to have a secret relationship was a mutual one.

But, fuck was it hard to do sometimes. 

-

Another day, another successful chase. 

Tyler had been in the truck for a good portion of the day, so he was happy to stretch his legs as he stood in the lot with you, Boone, Dexter, Lilly and Dani in front of him. Ben had already gone off to his room at the motel, since the way Tyler drove had made him sick or something like that. 

His eyes met yours for a brief second before he looked over at Lilly. “How were the numbers today, Lil?”

Lilly scrolled through her phone as she read the statistics of their most recent stream, a sly grin on her face when she looked up. “One of our highest watched streams yet,” she answered, giving Boone a fist bump as the two of them fell into a conversation. 

Tyler nodded, a content smile on his face as everyone wandered off towards their respective rooms. His hand brushed along your lower back as he passed by you on his way to his own room, a knowing look on his face that was similar to the one on yours. 

Once he was in his room, the countdown was on. You and he had a plan; wait for everyone to go their separate ways, wait exactly seven minutes because five was too soon, then you would quickly knock on his door four times so he could let you in and ravish you all night without the peering eyes of the others. 

Tyler shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the chair before leaning against the desk, his eyes on his watch as he silently counted down the minutes until he would hear your knock, then have you back in his arms - where you belonged.

Exactly seven minutes later, four quiet knocks sounded on the other side of the door, and Tyler was already moving. He swung the door open and pulled you inside immediately, kicking the door shut behind you. “Fuck, baby,” he mumbled, reaching for your hips as he pushed you against the wall beside the door. His lips found yours in a deep, heated kiss that pretty much showed you just how much he had missed you today, despite being near you the whole time. Pretending like you were just his friend was a fucking hard task. “I’ve been waitin’ for this all damn day. Missed you so much.” 

His fingers slid the bottom of your shirt up a bit before his hands grabbed the skin of your waist, his teeth tugging on your bottom lip as he pressed you more firmly against the wall. 

“I know we can’t show it out there, but in here? Fuck, you’re all mine,” he muttered, his hands sliding up your back under your shirt.  

You moaned softly against his mouth and tangled your fingers in his hair. “Technically I’m yours out there too,” you murmured, “Just secretly.” 

Tyler groaned into the kiss, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he ground his growing erection against you. “I love you so much, baby,” he mumbled as he peppered kisses along your jawline, down your neck and on your throat as he pulled your shirt off, tossing it aside carelessly. “You’re so goddamn perfect, sweetheart. I wanna show you off to the world, but this works too.” 

You grinned against his lips when he leaned back in and kissed you deeply, his arms wrapping around your body to unclasp your bra. “I love you too,” you said back, threading your fingers through his hair as his hands groped at your bare chest. “Take me to bed, Ty.”

Tyler’s hands reached down and gripped your thighs, lifting you up effortlessly and carrying you over to the bed. His lips trailed all over your chest, his tongue running along your nipples before he moved lower. His fingers unzipped your jeans and tugged them down your legs, your panties following quickly after as he groaned at the sight of your dripping core. “Tell me what you want, baby,” he murmured, teasing your folds with his index and middle fingers as his body settled between your thighs. “Want me to taste this pretty pussy?”

You whined, propping yourself up on your elbows as you looked down at him. “Yes. Please,” you answered, your voice barely above a whisper. Your fingers brushed along the undersides of your breasts as you subtly bucked your hips closer towards his mouth. “Please.”

Tyler smirked up at you, his mouth pressing soft kisses all along your thighs. “So fuckin’ hot, baby,” he grunted, leaning in to kiss your clit as his tongue poked out to lick at your folds. When your familiar taste coated his mouth, he groaned, his hands gripping your thighs as he buried his face between your legs. He flicked his tongue rapidly over your clit, circling it and sucking on it as he devoured you like a starved man. “Mm, fuck yes.” He mumbled against your quivering slit, his fingers digging into your soft thighs as he focused his attention on your puffy bundle of nerves. 

“Ty,” you gasped, falling back onto the bed as you spread your legs wider for him. Your fingers tugged on his hair, gently pulling on the light strands as he touched you and tasted you in the way you’d been craving all day. When he sucked harshly on your clit, you moaned rather loudly as you slowly ground against his face. “Fuck, it’s so good.”

Tyler groaned against your pussy, his tongue working overtime as he lapped at your sweet taste. “You taste so perfect, sweetheart,” he praised, the sting of your relentless tugging on his hair going straight to his cock. Two of his fingers slipped inside your core easily, pumping them in and out of you as his lips brushed along your lower stomach. “That’s it, baby.”

“Fuck, just like that,” you cried out, pulling harder on his hair as your back arched. “You’re so good at this, Ty…fuck, I’m so lucky.”

Tyler grinned against your skin, feeling the way you tightened around his fingers. “Gonna make you cum so hard, sweet girl,” he mumbled, curling his fingers deep inside you. “Wanna feel this tight pussy squeeze me.”

Your moans grew louder at his dirty words, and he knew they would. In the many months he’s been with you, Tyler had discovered that you had a thing for dirty talk, and he had a thing for coaxing those sweet sounds out of your mouth, so he was more than happy to indulge in your fantasies. 

When your thighs began to shake, he knew you were there, so he sped up the pace of his fingers and sucked on you a bit harder. “Cum for me,” he mumbled against your clit. “Wanna taste you.”

“Fuck…fuck,” you cried out, giving his hair one last tug before you came hard. Your back arched even more as your eyes squeezed shut, your moans growing louder to the point where Tyler wasn’t entirely convinced your secret relationship was still a secret. 

Tyler moaned at your taste, cleaning you up greedily as he worked you through your high. “There you go, baby. Cum all over my face,” he cooed and didn’t stop until he felt your body go limp, your breathing heavy and ragged as you tried to catch your breath. He pressed a final, much more gentle kiss to your overstimulated clit before standing up from the bed, keeping his eyes on yours as he brought his fingers up to his mouth and sucked them clean. “Best fuckin’ taste in the world.”

You whimpered as you weakly pushed yourself up and leaned in to kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips as you reached down to pull off his belt. Your fingers hastily unzipped his jeans and shoved them down his thighs, along with his boxers, moaning softly at the way he kissed you a bit harder. 

Your fingers brushed along his abs through his shirt as you pulled away and moved to lay down on your stomach, your head at level with his hips as you looked up at him. “Take this off, baby,” you mumbled before gripping the base of his cock and wrapping your lips around just the tip.  

Tyler’s hands quickly grabbed the end of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tossing it aside to find later. His chest was heaving a bit, his abs tensing as he tangled his fingers in your hair, his palm resting against the back of your head. “Fuck,” he muttered, the feeling of your warm, tight mouth around his throbbing dick making him let out harsh breaths. “So fuckin’ good.” 

Your tongue swirled around him as you bobbed your head up and down, coating him in a thin layer of your spit as you looked up at him through your lashes. Your hand stroked what couldn’t fit into your mouth, your other one gripping his hip and silently encouraging him to thrust gently.

He let out deep groans, tightening his hold on your hair as his hips started to thrust shallowly, pushing himself deeper into your mouth. “Fuck, sweetheart,” he grunted, refraining from just fucking your face like he wanted to. “Your mouth is fuckin’ perfect.”

When you hollow your cheeks and take him deeper, Tyler knew he wouldn’t last long. He gently guided you off him, his thumbs stroking your jaw as he leaned down and kissed you sweetly. 

“I wanna fuck you, baby,” he mumbled, helping you to your knees before he spun you around and bent you over the bed. Guiding your legs apart, Tyler gripped your hips as he slowly pushed inside of you. He groaned at the tight stretch of your soaked core around him, giving you a few seconds to adjust before he pulled nearly all the way out, only to thrust back in again. 

“Ty,” you gasped, fisting the sheets as your body jolted forward once he set a hard, fast pace. Your hair was a mess, your eyes rolled back as he fucked you from behind. It was more than clear that you both needed this after going the entire day without so much as a brush of your hands. 

Yours and Tyler’s love language was touch, so having to be around each other all day but not be able to touch? Yeah, that resulted in exactly what was happening right now in this motel room. 

The bed creaked under the fast pace of Tyler’s hips, but he had to go hard, because you were gripping him like you never wanted to let him go. “Fuck, you’re so tight. So perfect,” he grunted, tightening his hold on your hips to hold you in place. He leaned over you, pressing his chest against your back as he kissed all along your shoulder and jaw. When one of his hands reached around you to brush along your throbbing clit, you moaned a bit louder, and Tyler smirked. “You like that, baby? Like when I fuck this tight pussy?” 

Your head fell forward, your face pressing against the comforter as you nodded helplessly, murmuring a slurred chant of ‘yes’. The headboard knocked against the wall and mixed well with the sound of Tyler’s hips hitting yours over and over again. “I love it,” you finally managed to say, your legs shaking despite you being completely supported by the bed. “God, Ty…harder. Please, I need it.” 

Tyler groaned, fucking into you even faster and deeper than before. “Are you gonna cum for me again?” He rasped, rubbing harsh circles on your clit in time with his thrusts. “Come on, sweet girl, give it to me.”

You let out a soft, quiet scream as you cum for the second time, your moans muffled by the sheets. Tyler didn’t relent, his hips hitting yours as he fucked you through your high. His fingers were gripping you so tight, holding you firmly in place as he felt himself get impossibly closer, and a few seconds later, he was there too.

He grunted deeply, weakly thrusting in and out of your pulsing pussy as jets of white painted you as his own. “Fuck,” he whispered, leaning over you again as he panted against your neck. “Christ, baby…” 

A soft laugh left your mouth as you let him practically crush you against the bed. “I guess you can say I kinda fucking missed you,” you offered with a lazy smile, still trembling a bit. 

“I think that’s an understatement,” he mumbled, pressing soft kisses to your damp skin. “I missed you too, sweetheart. I swear, I’ll never get enough.” His words were sweet now as he slowly pulled out of you, cradling you against his chest as he moved to lay down on the bed. 

“You better not,” you grinned, cuddling against him as the motel room fell quiet again.

“I won’t. Promise,” he said quietly, rubbing your back as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “By the way, you were kind of loud. Do you think they know now?”

You hummed and shrugged, tangling your legs with his. “Do you want me to not be so loud?”

“Fuck no,” Tyler answered quickly, holding you a bit tighter. “Just…be prepared in case these walls are super fuckin’ thin, because I have a feelin’ we won’t be a secret for much longer.” 

And he was right, because as soon as he saw Boone’s smirking face the next morning, he knew there was no hiding it anymore. And secretly, Tyler was really fucking relieved.

[clitorphosis]

SPIT TO SEE THE SHINE

Vendetta Leon S. Kennedy x reader |18+ MDNI. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, KIDNAPPING, DUB CON, smut, age gap (reader is in 20s, Leon is 37) female reader, abusive relationship, implied alcoholism, stockholm syndrome, creampie, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, use of ‘daddy’ (not a lot), implied erectile disfunction lmao, victim blaming, fingering, implied physical and sexual violence, forced breeding.

Summary: life gets lonelier after 30s, the realization hits harder Leon and the way to cope with it is to get his hands on alcohol… too bad booze tends to encourage him to not be a good man - ending up with a younger girl in his apartment. Maybe it is a grave mistake, but Leon is just a man and who doesn’t make them? notes: uhm, this may be a lil bit self indulgent, sorry for that :3 I DONT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR IN REAL LIFE!!! reblogs, asks and any kind of feedback or interaction are really appreciated! :3

tags: @withonly-sweetheart

Mama has told you not to trust strangers, the concern was referred to the men, but your ears have never held her words for a time longer than a day. Nor did you remember her words when an attractive, older man noticed you and was nice enough to ask you out. That night was supposed to be a little date, giddy and happy jumping into the front seat of his car. That’s the last thing you remember. Eventually, you can not fathom how this happened - the day later your head hurt as you were forced to swallow the hard pill: you got kidnapped by your date.

The first month was insufferable and painful, slowly growing out of your ‘rebellious attitude’ and memorizing his body language like a child in an abusive household. His gaze is everywhere, keeping you locked up in the room when he is not present, a reminder to you that there is no free choice. The food, clothes, and your free time were defined by Leon’s mood and taste which… Liked to swing, creating a mess for you both, not knowing if he was genuinely ashamed of what he had done. You hated him, dreaming about the day when his throat would be sliced, painting your hands with red just to breathe in the air of freedom.

Mama knows best. No, Leon knows best.

Sometimes Leon is mean, without hesitation, sharp words can be thrown at you when he is drunk. Blaming his misery on you. Trying not to be affected by them, not enough to avoid some of them as they cling to your mind - circling as a reminder.

“You deserve this, what did you think a man would want from a woman?”,

“you are better dead”,

“you asked for this”. Did you actually?

Sometimes he is the nicest guy around here. Showering you with tenderness and care, trying to have a normal conversation, but not daring to look into your eyes. Ashamed probably, which was bittersweet and pleasant, but confusing too. Like a couple. You promised yourself to not change the way you feel about him, even if he is sweet. Not like you have a lot of options now.

Certainly, Stockholm syndrome wasn’t going to avoid you, it didn’t take long either. You aren’t special and Leon looked so lonely, returning after work mostly devastated. The expression someone would have had while grieving over something not obtainable. Not even daring to look into your face, ignoring you until his hands do not reach the booze - drinking himself until his mood changes to a handsy one. Physical or sexual. Sometimes both. And Leon is lonely, he told it himself once. Naturally or not, anger has changed to pity, while hate is mixed with something affectionate towards him. You can’t help yourself.

As someone has said - from love to hatred is one step.

So the routine has become clear after a month of staying here, sitting on the floor and watching TV while Leon is behind you. Big brother is watching you - no, Leon is watching you. Drunk or not, monitoring whatever is on the screen is appropriate in his eyes. Not for too long you were concentrating on the blue gleam coming from the screen, illuminating both frames in the living room, now like a natural thing for you both - his fingers end up in your panties to rub your clit in slow and lazy circles. His chest is pressing against your back, focused on your expressions and squirming. His calloused fingertips press harder against your sensitive clit, to hear your voice. Your body is the biggest enemy here - like a Pavlovian dog, reacting to his touch quickly and eagerly. The skin of his fingers is wet and soaked with your slick already, in no time, filling the room with squelching and wet sounds as your moans become harder to keep to yourself. Writhing and trying to shift away, but your body tends to become immobile most of the time - there is no fight or flight, just freeze.

“You look so miserable. It is reassuring, so cute too” In misery, together. His tone is the one someone would use for a dog. Always using that one with you, but you are not a dog. Not like you have any other choices right now, other than taking like a good girl and not lamenting.

If someone would have asked you, Leon is shameless with you, not the one to be shy after a bottle of whiskey, even if he can’t get it up sometimes. His fingers nudge your soaked hole, which aches for his attention. It clenches around nothing, pathetically and you disappointedly whine at the emptiness inside you.

“Come on, open your legs, be a nice girl for Daddy” Leon cooed. His lips brush over your ear, not giving you a chance to do this by yourself - forcing your legs roughly to part wider. “So much better now”

Your hips shift, arching your back as his two fingers intrude into your pussy, curling sweetly inside it to push them at your favorite sweet spot - to enforce more moans at every jolt of pleasure hitting your body. Leon likes that, watching you squirm and open your mouth like a fish desperate for air cause of him. His grip on your jaw is tight, painful even - there are going to be bruises tomorrow and he will be apologizing like a madman.

“Daddy has been so miserable these days too, fucking Redfield is always hassling me.” You don’t know who is that. The sound of his hand fumbling with his belt and the fly of his jeans reach your ears, a loud noise of them falling on the floor. “Can’t even have a vacation, what would you do without me, baby?”

“Ughh…!” you choke on your moans. There is no thought behind your eyes, your entire attention is on your pleasure. Feeling overwhelmed at every thrust of his fingers, writhing in his hold while he is roughly pumping into your drenched hole, an uncomfortable wetness clings to your inner thighs - begging to fuck you already.

“Fuck, I am so sorry, sweetheart, but you are so wet. I can’t. Just the tip, okay? Sorry,” he groans breathlessly, giving hot and quick kisses on the side of your head. Sweet touch. His gaze darkens and his body presses harder against yours, feeling his erection press against your ass. “just… this hole is dripping, and you don’t look like you don’t want it”

You are so close actually, every thrust hitting your sweet spot, curling, and keeping the quick pace of his fingers make you almost drool while focusing on approaching orgasm. Too bad that isn’t on his to-do list. As much as he wants to see you cum, on his fingers or not, - his own pleasure is much more important, especially when his dick is hard. Whiskey dick isn’t so easy to get up these days. His fingers roughly withdraw from your soaked hole with a squelching pop, denying your orgasm. The emptiness returns and your sensitive pussy clenched around nothing again - aching to be filled again.

“So messy,” Leon mutters out, shoving his index and middle fingers in your mouth - forcing you to clean them, your tongue rolls and wraps around them, tasting yourself before he finally pulls them away. “asking for bad things to happen”

You can swear to God this made your clit throb. Wetter than you can ever be, or you are hallucinating, hoping this isn’t the case. Thoughts are quickly brushed aside when his cock is pressed in between your pussy lips, bumping against your aching clit while he rubs himself against your soaked and needy cunt that coats his flesh in your slick, lubing his length in it before he pushed his cock into you - Leon is not really a patient man. Yeah, just the tip, of course. Your velvety walls easily swallow his cock, stretching inch by inch with pleasant pain and letting it slide as he pushed in quick motion until his cock got buried deep inside you. Balls pressed against your flesh, while you can’t help but tightly clench around him, his chest is pressed against your back. Relishing how tight and warm is your pussy, the best and most calming feeling for Leon - to fill you with his cock for his own pleasure. Your hair gets tugged roughly, making your head roll back while Leon starts moving slowly. His cock drags against your walls, pulling out until only a tip remains inside.

“See? Only a tip” Leon mocks you, before slamming back in, bottoming out in one thrust. You whimper and squirm, but his hold on your hair is hard - the only way to keep you under his control. His hips start pounding into you, falling deep into the pleasure connecting your bodies. “Your pussy just feels so good, weren’t you made for this, mmm?”

His movements stutter as his pace slowens when his blue eyes make eye contact with the TV. You didn’t really catch on what was happening until his hand tugged your hair, directing your half-lidded gaze to the point of his interest. The sight of your image on the news, big words on the red background: MISSING PERSON. The former shelf of yourself is staring at you both, smiling brightly - not knowing there is no future for you. The volume is turned off. In this household, it is common knowledge that Leon doesn’t let you watch the news, every time getting agitated and avoiding you even more, when sober, which doesn’t last long after that. The mood swing was quick, every time it was like a loud thunderstorm, his hips make another thrust - cock hits your cervix and forces out a loud moan, involuntarily, when Leon’s cockhead grinds against it.

“This is bullshit, you know?” He hisses into your ear, giving another rough thrust to make you gasp pathetically, as he presses your head against the TV screen. “no one is coming for you. Why? Cause you are forgettable, baby, no one needs you”

“S-stop, Leon” you mumble in between moans and trying to keep yourself aware of what is happening. “T-too much, p-please!”

Your body feels like it is on fire due to the mix of emotions he provokes, your cunt grips his cock tightly while aching for your denied orgasm from before. His hand gives a hard slap on your sensitive clit, making you arch and flinch. Your pussy flutters, gripping him tighter.

“Shhh, I am doing a favor here” he mutters, yanking your head back, forcing you to look at the news while his pounding grew more erratic, intensifying wet and flesh-hitting sounds. His voice is loud in your ears, muffling other sounds, overwhelming as his cock keeps making rough thrusts into you with every word - to punctuate them. “Keeping you here, taking care of useless you that can’t do anything right”

He buries himself deep again, pausing again to relish in the feeling of his cock filling you, while your wet walls engulf him nicely - like a drug, inviting him to stay there and never pull away. Slick drips down your thighs, and his nose brushes behind your ear before nibbling on the soft cartilage. His hand gives another light slap on your pussy, the tightness of your walls almost makes him cum.

“Maybe a baby, what do you think about it, mm?” The idea makes him throb, sliding in and out more erratically. As if he cares about your opinion right now, his fingers tug your hair harder, but his words make you flinch harder. Tears prick behind your eyelids.

“No-no-no. You can’t cum inside, no!” He is not wearing a condom. Bad, too bad. Begging comes out naturally for you now, in between your moans. Fear coats your voice, as the idea sets in quickly - being trapped here cause of an unfortunate kid. “Not the baby! Leon, please! I’ll be good, please!”

“Of course, I can. Shut up. You like this” Leon hisses, keeping your head in a firm hold, so your eyes are set on the old photo. It doesn’t feel right, but you can’t stop yourself from making noises, shifting so Leon would hit a better angle. This somewhat combines with a shame, at every hint of it your mind shoves it away. “You can’t look at yourself, too bad. Dripping even more after my words, like a whore.“

Wanting to cum, focusing more on the pleasure of his dick filling your hole - feels so wrong, but good. Like your body shouldn’t enjoy how Leon’s hips keep pounding into your soaked cunt, hitting the pudgy spot and making you repeat his name like a prayer, but your own mind and body are the biggest enemy, betraying you. His own balls tighten, as a reminder of his so soon approaching orgasm.

“You love me right, baby?” Leon whispers, voice coming out breathy and brushing against your ear shell. His calloused fingers crawl back to your clit, flicking and rubbing it roughly and unsteadily. Trying to keep the feeling of that warm tightness sucking in his cock.

“I love you, Leon, o-oh!” you hum, nibbling on the lower lip and arching, letting more noises when his dick hits your sweet spot so sloppily and messy now, chasing his orgasm. And him circling your clit with his calloused fingertips makes your legs tremble - so close to tripping and falling flat on the floor. This makes your mind fuzzy, shoving away the fear of being pregnant. Leon is nice, right? Nice enough to push you against the cold screen of the TV, it doesn’t have its use anymore. That photo faded with the news, after all. “I love you, love you,”

Your voice comes out shaky and high-pitched now. His eyes are set on your disheveled look, with light traces of tears as you repeat the confession erratically, filling his mind with them. Making this normal, you love him, so he can allow himself to not feel so guilty, right? With a final and rough thrust, he buried himself to the hilt, giving chaste and soft kisses to the back of your head. Your body shudders eventually too, your walls spasm harder around him as the hard feeling of orgasm hits you, pleasant shockwaves dumb every bad thought in the head. His cock throbbed, letting a loud groan and finally spurting ropes of cum into you while keeping messy circles on your sensitive clit, prolonging your orgasm and making you more overwhelmed with every flick. The warm essence fills your hole, Leon pulls out his softening cock with a wet pop, watching how his sperm slowly oozes out from your pussy. His mind is light, the hint of booze keeps guilt from emerging.

Words of love don’t feel like a complete lie now, as pleasant memories overwhelm the bad ones. They become almost an empty spot in the back of your mind, leaving only a foggy feeling of hate and dread. And your brain is weak for the bliss, hammering every moment deep in you - craving for more. Hate won’t bring you out of this, maybe affection will. Your hand grips weakly his wrist, you won’t be able to bear the loneliness after sex tonight.

“Don’t leave me” Your mouth is quicker than your mind, not processing anything right now. Leon breaks out in a weak smile, but his gaze isn’t capable of keeping eye contact right now. Still, he scoops you in his arms without a second thought. Remaining silent, feeling your weak body in his hold he can’t help but pepper chaste kisses on your forehead. Trying to prolong the sweet and guiltless moment for you both.

You should have known better than to accept that date with him.

[leavemetrappedinacage]

EVERYTHING WAS A MISTAKE — prologue.

Sumary: A fateful meeting with someone from your past brings painful revelations.

⤷ pairing: yandere!satoru gojo x fem!vampire!reader.

⤷ warnings: dubcon (kiss only), attempted suicide, description of blood, injury, threats, slight stalking (Satoru is chasing the reader around).

⤷ more information about story: here.

⤷ notes: this is my first time posting a fic and I'm a bit scared, I hope you enjoy it, I also decided to make each chapter a different color, the synopsis for example is pink, while this one is a pale green, almost yellow, I hope you don't mind. Have a great day!

⤷ word count: 3288.

Life is like a butterfly, ephemeral, beautiful, and above all, fragile. You watch people stumble on the pavement, your face reflects subtly in the glass of the window, fortunately people aren't able to see you from the outside, you'd like to warn them about a small incline in the pavement, you yourself have stumbled there many times before realising, you close your eyes and laugh until your cheeks hurt, not out of mockery, but out of shame at imagining how many people have seen you stumble.

The shop manager snaps her fingers in front of your face to get your attention, you cough and pull yourself together, you see a gleam of curiosity light up in her hazel eyes, you smile at her and tilt your head to the side subtly, she understands the signal and watches a wanderer trip and fall, she covers her mouth with both hands to stifle her outrageous laughter.

You stop yourself from laughing along with her, she has a contagious laugh, sometimes you can't help it, you turn and walk away and leave her amused at the window, you take the cloth off your shoulder and scrub the counter and the till. You've been working in the flower store as a general service assistant for eight months, you weren't looking for a job, but Gloria, the manager and owner of the store, needed a handyman to help her, you were passing by and stopped to look at the flowers, she asked if you were new in town and if you didn't have a job yet, you even thought about tricking her and saying you didn't need a job, but you were honest and when you answered her, she grabbed your arm and dragged you inside, since then you've been working for her.

You're not used to spending a lot of time in one place, there's a huge target on your back, so you're always leaving without looking back, but after getting to know Gloria and the city better, you couldn't leave. You went behind the counter and leaned your arms on it and laid your face in the palm of your hand, you pulled up the sleeve of your blouse and looked at your wristwatch to check the time, in a few minutes Gloria's children would arrive from school and you would be alone in the store.

Tonight you're going to accompany Gloria to an art exhibition, she's shouting from across the store so that you don't forget the promise you made her, if you accompany her, she'll buy you that expensive perfume from her sister's perfumery, you couldn't let that opportunity slip away. You hummed, you haven't been on dates since you were young, before your life turned into the hell it is, you used to go on dates with your old boyfriend, in the past you arranged a date with him and then it all happened, you couldn't make it because of the circumstances and he was furious. Thinking about it makes you uncomfortable.

You shake your head to clear away the painful memories, you haven't seen or heard from your boyfriend for ten years, you don't even consider him your boyfriend anymore, after all, years have passed, he could be engaged to someone else by now. You tap your nails on the counter when you imagine him with someone else. Your bad mood disappears when Gloria comes in to excuse you from work. She announces to you that she'll be leaving early so that you can both get ready to go to the exhibition.

"So... see you later."

Your expression changes from water to wine, your face becomes brighter, the strange thoughts that were running through your head disappear completely. You give Gloria a tight hug and say goodbye, you've arranged to meet her in front of the store at 20:00hrs, you check the time on your wristwatch, it's 17:30, you have enough time to get ready. You go skipping down the street, but the tension in the air makes you stop abruptly, you feel like you're being watched, but when you analyze your surroundings, there's no threat around.

You're always on the alert, not least because your clan has been hunting you like an animal for years. However, paranoia has already made you make mistakes, and you don't want to make mistakes tonight, you have a date! You shake your body and slap your cheeks to dispel this feeling, you tell yourself that nothing bad is going to happen tonight. For a moment you look up at the dazzling late afternoon sky, there are no clouds covering the stars and the setting sun because it's summer in Brazil, but there are a few puddles of water in the street because it rained in the morning, the weather is really crazy here, you can experience all the seasons in a single day.

You greet some familiar faces along the way, the children in the street come to greet you and you offer them warm hugs, you tell them to wait for you, whenever you can you bring bread and sweets for the children, because there is no adult to look after them. Your house is in the middle of a dirt road, not far from the city, but far enough away that if anything happens you'll be able to hide your tracks, the house is old and small, but it's much better than some places you've lived.

You walk for about fifteen minutes until you reach the house, the feeling of being watched comes again, you pass through the gate of the house and look back and to the sides, there's nothing there, but when you reach the door of the house you freeze when you don't hear the characteristic click of the lock. The door is open. You frown and swallow, whoever is behind this door is skilled enough to escape your enhanced senses. You're not human, so whoever is watching you is skilled enough to bypass your vampire sense of smell.

You open the door slowly, there are lots of weapons scattered around the house at strategic points, you just need to pick one of them up. You close the door behind you and look for clues in the hallway, there are no signs of a break-in, no footprints or even traces of someone having been there, but you're not convinced yet. You take off your shoes and grab a dagger hidden inside the umbrella holder, walking on tiptoe and sneaking around the walls, you look from side to side and change position several times.

You search the whole house twice as a precaution, there's nothing, and you're beginning to think that your paranoia is getting the better of you. Yet something tells you not to drop the dagger. You never go against your sixth sense, because most of the time you're right, you close your eyes and stand facing the bedside table in the living room, you take a deep breath and wait, if there was someone there, surely that person would appear. But to your surprise no one has appeared. You feel frustrated and relieved at the same time, you go up the stairs and into the bathroom with the dagger still in your hand, you start getting ready for the meeting, you promised yourself you wouldn't be late and you're going to keep that promise.

You've chosen the best outfit you have, it's nothing fancy, but it's the most beautiful dress in your small closet, it's long with short cream-colored sleeves, there are some birds embroidered in blue on the chest, you've put a checkered belt around your waist as an extra accessory, because the only jewel you have is the reliquary you carry around your neck. You don't normally wear heels because it's difficult to run in them, but today you made an exception. You look at your watch and it's almost time to leave.

You go downstairs excitedly, singing and twirling around, you go to the kitchen and fill a basket with bread and some sweets you've ordered, in your haste you forget your dagger on the counter. Suddenly, a strange presence hovers around the house, you stop abruptly in the middle of the corridor and wait for the other person to attack first, you spin on your heels ready to punch the intruder, but you are blocked by an invisible wall and the basket of bread falls with the impact. Your eyes glaze over in a mixture of surprise and confusion, you know that not many people know your weaknesses, but there was a certain someone who was highly capable of doing it: Satoru Gojo was the name of that person.

"Hello, Y/N." He greets you with a cynical smile. "Long time no see."

"YOU!" You vociferate with your jaw locked.

You're very close to each other. However, before he can speak, you take a glass of acid from your pocket and throw it at the barrier, it's useless, but it gives you enough time and space to get away from him and think clearly, you take a wooden dagger from behind a painting on the wall, a gun would come in handy now, but you were too far from the sofa to pick it up. You can't defeat the great Satoru Gojo, you don't have the power to do it, even if you are good at the art of killing, the Six Eyes are the real stone in your shoe. No matter how skilled you are, you can't escape those eyes.

"How the hell did you find me here?"

"Glad to see you too." He keeps his attitude unassuming and calm, but he's not happy that you've become so strong and skilled, the last time he saw you, you wouldn't have even noticed his presence. "Aren't you going to say hello?"

"Why are you here?" You remain impassive.

"You really don't know?" He raises an eyebrow, as if you've asked a rhetorical question. "You gave the elders of the four clans, including mine, a lot of headaches, so the old men finally gave me permission to come after you."

You wrinkle your nose, this man has come all this way to kill you, you just don't know when or how, you turn your gaze to his face, he's so serious wearing that pair of blue glasses with square lenses, it's ridiculous, but you can't judge him, since you hid the pair of custom-made sunglasses he used to wear, back then you harbored deep feelings for him and decided to keep that pair of glasses with you as a souvenir. It's funny that people who are very close can go from people who know each other to people who don't know each other anymore. A lump forms in your throat and it's hard to breathe, despair takes hold of you, like a spark falling on a pile of straw. You don't want to go back, you like it here, your new life, without curses or evil sorcerers, but you also don't want to be hated by the people you love.

"It's no use trying to run away." He warns you, and it's amazing how his every word sounds like a veiled threat, he takes a step forward and you step back. "But I'm not going to kill you."

"Not now..." You mumble, laughing scornfully, you don't believe him, it's in your face, you step back and take a good look at him, he's wearing expensive clothes, but too simple for his taste, he's also aged in recent years, he turns his face away when he feels the weight of your gaze, strangely uncomfortable. "If you're not going to kill me, what have you come here for?"

"To take you, of course." He sounds as if he's stating the obvious.

"Of course." You shake your head in agreement, you're still laughing. "Of course..." You lean on the wall of the house and laugh until your stomach hurts.

"Is this some kind of joke to you?"

"Of course!" You repeated again with false enthusiasm. "I'm not going back with you, not over my dead body. But you wouldn't kill me even if I hurt you, right? The merciful Satoru Gojo, the man who doesn't get his hands dirty, not even when faced with a murderer." You sneer at him, and he doesn't like it one bit, the last few years have turned you into a cynical and suspicious person, maybe he was telling the truth, but he didn't say anything about hurting you. You hold the dagger steady and point it at his face. "Only one of us is getting out of here today."

You'd kill him without hesitation if you could, he knows it, but you're not interested in a fight, if you knew how much his power has grown while you've been away, you wouldn't be pointing that knife at him. You're also aware that it's a losing battle, you can't win even if there are ten of you, so you decide to use the only card up your sleeve, your own life, you point the dagger at your neck, it's a risky move, but if he still has feelings for you, he'll let you go.

"You wouldn't do that, you're bluffing." He doesn't seem very confident that you're going to kill yourself, after all you value your life so much that you've been running away for years, so you've pierced your neck superficially, but enough to make it bleed. "You crazy suicidal bitch, don't you dare!"

His reaction gives you a little confidence.

"LET ME GO!" You shout.

"I CAN'T, OKAY? PLEASE STOP THIS SHIT." He runs his hand over his face and then through his hair, making it messier than usual, he tries to get closer, but you push the blade even deeper into his neck, he grunts and bites his lower lip. "Stop it, please, I just want to talk." He stutters, his voice laced with tears.

The last time you met, he was so angry that you couldn't recognize him, yet now he looks much more like the boyfriend who loved you deeply than a hunter. You shake your head in agreement and take the dagger out of your neck, blood spurts everywhere and ruins your dress, but it's not serious, you're not stupid, you would never hit a vital point, you just wanted to scare him a bit so you could get away. Satoru suddenly approached you and put pressure on your neck to stop the bleeding, you barely feel any pain, you're used to getting hurt. You're not a sorcerer to use RCT, but you were able to heal yourself, you'd like to remind him of that, but this is the first time you're interacting with him after so long, and he was being so careful that you didn't want to stop him. You watched him throughout, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth slightly curved into a pout, he was so sexy.

You frown, strange (and obscene) thoughts come to mind, without realizing that he's watching you make these faces and mouths, the next thing you know, he's got his face very close to yours, so close that you can feel his uneven breathing touch the skin of your cheek, he looks at your lips and then into your eyes, you get goose bumps, feelings that you've repressed all these years burst through the door of your heart like an avalanche, you stagger backwards with your face turned to the floor.

Your mind is in chaos, you're distracted for a second or two, but long enough for Satoru to seal his soft lips to yours, the sweet, calm feeling of a chill in your belly, your first kiss after ten years apart. His fingers tangle in your hair and close in an inviting grip that has served to bring the two of you even closer together. He forces you to give in and make room for the real kiss to begin, he explores every corner of your mouth and rubs his tongue against yours in an obscene way, he leads the kiss in a way that you can barely follow. Before breaking the kiss completely, he runs his tongue over your lips as if to show you that he's close enough to invade your mouth again.

You choke on your breath and feel feverish, you were willing to risk your own life to get away from him a few minutes ago, but now you're here in his arms, at the mercy of his desires.

"Stop." Your throat is burning. "Please stop."

He doesn't comply with your request and advances again, so you block his lips with your free hand, he smiles and licks the back of your hand, your face turns red up to your ears, it's humiliating how he's able to mess with you and how your body simply doesn't obey you when it comes to him. However, it's so cute for him to see you so shy (resistant), it reminds him of the first time he fucked you, you were so innocent and vulnerable. Satoru wonders if he could repeat the same feat if he pushed you a little harder.

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP." You push his face away from yours, leaving him at a safe distance, you lower your head and face your feet, luckily your hair is long enough to cover your reddened face. "Say what you want and let's get it over with."

Satoru finally accepts that you're not going to give in anymore, so he takes the dagger from you and throws it a considerable distance away, he's afraid you'll hurt yourself again, you stand in an awkward silence for a while, until your heartbeat normalizes and you come to your senses. With great difficulty you look at him again, but instead of that seductive look, he's slumped and playing with his fingers, a clear sign of anxiety.

"You didn't come to kill me." You feel the air get heavy and his face turns grim after you come to this conclusion, you've never seen him like this before, only when Toji killed Amanai, you frown and hold his blouse with both hands. "Something's happened, hasn't it?" You click your tongue on the roof of your mouth. "What's wrong? Why are you here?" He laughs nervously, you've always been very clever. "Don't be quiet, you were very talkative just now."

His body is shaking, but it's not the cold that bothers him, whatever he's hiding from you affects him to the extent that it makes him shut up, and Satoru Gojo never shuts up, not even when his life was in danger did he stop laughing and babbling about how strong he is. But now he seems like a different person, completely different from the idiot you've lived with for years, and an idiot like him doesn't change so easily, he just becomes more arrogant over time. He turns his face to the floor and bites his lower lip, hesitant to tell you the truth, his heart races in anguish and you shake him, ripping his glasses off his face, at which point you see dark circles under his eyes and watery eyes. You become anxious, but before you could shout at him, he opened his mouth to answer you and you didn't know how to react, because it wasn't the answer you were expecting.

"I didn't come here because of the elders or whatever nonsense is going through your head right now, I came here because... I'm so sorry, Y/N, your sister... she disappeared."

Life really is a butterfly.

[frommybedroom]

inspired by this post

Even after he turns in his essay, he can’t stop. It’s not like he’s never written anything before, but those were the silly daydreams of a little boy with his head in the clouds, who dreamed of movie stars and damsels in distress. What he’s doing now is important. What he’s doing now is necessary.

On the third day in a row that he’s late to dinner—so late that Soda has to reheat his plate—Darry says, “What you been writing about, Pony?”

“Yeah,” Soda says, bringing the plate over and setting it down. “You’re always still up when I try to go to bed. I’ve had to replace the batteries in your flashlight twice now. Are you writing another story?”

Pony shrugs. Suddenly, all the words that pour out of him so easily onto the page get lodged in the back of his throat.

How to describe it to them? The urge—to not forget, to hold onto what was. To wring out the words and distill them into a watered-down version of his friends. Those measly words the only things left of Johnny Cade and Dallas Winston.

“Hey, Ponyboy, what’s wrong?”

Pony blinks, and Soda’s blurry face peers at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Darry scoot his chair closer to the both of them. Both wear matching expressions of concern.

“I just—” He swallows past the lump in his throat. “I just want to remember them.”

His brothers don’t say anything. So he keeps going.

“I—I can’t let them just disappear. They were here. They were real. And now they’re not. And I can’t let what their tombstones say be the only thing people remember about them. They were more than just a date.”

Soda leans over and ruffles his hair. It’s starting to grow out again finally, the natural dark roots beginning to peek through. “Don’t worry about that, Pony. You’ll never forget them. None of us will.”

“Yeah,” Darry agrees. “Dallas and Johnny were family, and family don’t—”

“I can’t remember what Mom’s perfume smelled like,” Pony bursts out. “I don’t remember what her high heels sounded like on the floor or the slight burning smell when she would curl her hair. And I try real hard to remember what it was like waking up and hearing Dad make coffee, but it’s gone. They’re fading. Like they were never actually here at all.” He clenches his fists, and there’s still a faint ache in his wrist. “I’m not gonna let that happen to them.”

He doesn’t tell them that sometimes at night, after Soda’s fully asleep and snoring like some dang bear, he sneaks out of bed and into the closet where they’ve kept Johnny’s clothes folded in a neat pile. Sometimes he holds them, brushing his fingers over the ripped jeans; sometimes he can’t bear to sully them. Which doesn’t even make sense because the shirt’s still got some of Johnny’s blood on it so it’s plenty dirty already, but he still feels like he’ll ruin it if he touches them too much or for too long.

He’s broken out of his thoughts by arms wrapping around him. A moment later, another pair of arms joins the first. And then he’s clutching onto Soda’s elbow and Darry’s forearm, and once again they’re all holding each other.

He wonders what this scene would look like to an observer: three boys in a rundown kitchen with grime caked under their fingernails and wearing clothes that don’t fit quite right. Unwanted tears escaping from tightly squeezed eyelids. A forgotten plate of food sitting on the table. No parents or friends anywhere to be seen.

He thinks they would see grief. And heartache and loneliness and pain. But maybe also hope. Maybe also love.

[everythingmp3]

adult Van being your ex lover and trying to get you back - headcanons 𐙚

some detailed thoughts about the scenario of having dated her "casually" for a while until she broke it off bc it got too intense and romantic - only for her to beg for forgiveness after a while. this is narrative in structure, basically a timeline from the first date to where it ended up eventually <3

warnings: nsfw mentions (minors dni), a good amount of emotional lesbian dating drama.

how it all started:

you met on an app, nothing out of the ordinary, but the thing that was unusual, was the Van asked you to meet up after just one day of texting

with other people, she was often the type to leave them on read for a few days before eventually agreeing to a date, but with you she found herself smiling at all your texts right from the start, which was new for her, so just one day after you first texted, she straight up asked "hey would you wanna go out for dinner this weekend?".

your first date was at a nice yet underrated Italian place downtown that she wanted to show you, it was a dimly lit space that was romantic but not overly so and you felt at ease around each other right from the start - you were both insanely nervous the few hours before you met (she definitely felt very sick at one point) but the moment you hugged hello, it felt so natural that all nerves just fell off, replaced by the giddiness of sensing an instant attraction

the evening was lovely, from start to finish. Van made you laugh way more than you had expected, which delighted her immensely and only made her try even harder to win you over completely - she made you try her meal and insisted on you taking a few more bites when it was clear that you really liked it, she never broke eye contact, she leaned closer and touched your hand about an hour into the date when it was clear that you wanted her to - you talked about everything under the sun and lost track of time, sharing a desert and gazing at each other over the table with sparkling eyes, you making her flush whenever you complimented her or looked at her for too long - so by the time you were ready to leave you both felt a shared sense of disbelief like "wow.. this was so nice. I already like you so much."

she offered to drive you home when you told her that you had walked there and once you were parked in front of your house, you both kind of just sat there in silence, a bit nervous, the good kind, smiling to yourselves in the dark before you looked at each other and you told her "I had a really nice time. can we do this again sometime?", she nodded and leaned over to you and said "yes. please." a pause before she added "can I kiss you?", unsure if you would want her to after just one date but you didnt even answer, you just leaned in and gave her a deep, passionate kiss as a response, feeling her smile into it.

your next date was a few days later at a bar, around 9pm, because you had great chemistry and were clearly dying to get your hands on each other, but didnt just wanna make it a hook-up - so you spent about an hour getting tipsy, touching each other under the table, staring into each others eyes and saying overly sweet things like "you’re so pretty.." and "I thought about you a lot this week" before she finally caved and said "should we go back to my place?".

the main thing that made you both obsess over each other was the intimacy you shared. the first time you fucked, you were both out of breath and frantic with desire but it was heavenly - you giggled when you both almost tripped on the way up to her apartment and tore each others clothes off without much elegance, you spent a good amount of time just dry-humping and making out because you were so deeply into each other and really wanted to savor every part of it - moaning pathetically as you both took turns kissing each others necks while grinding and moving, growing unbearably needy and wet from it before you went down on her for the first time.

Van hadn’t told you this explicitly but the second she had her thighs around your head, you realized that your instinct about her had been right: she wanted to surrender. she wasn’t the kind of older woman who only dreamed of dominating her younger partner, she was the type to get most turned on from the idea of you ruining her, so, you used it to your full advantage: eating her out until she was a shaking mess, addicted to her taste, to her sounds, her sensitivity and reactiveness to your touch, and Van thought "yeah, I am fucked. she got me good. this is perfect."

she definitely returned the favor just as eagerly and took her time jerking you off, feeling how wet you’d gotten from eating her out, praising you and lapping it up and kissing and biting your thighs - which was just the beginning of a long night of you taking turns, losing track of time, tribbing and rubbing up against each other, taking little breaks to just kiss and caress each other and catch your breaths. you took a water break before you looked at her and said "do you wanna sit on my face..", which nearly made her choke on her own spit.

you ended the night with your face entirely covered in her juices, blissed out from the feeling of her using you like that, whining and moaning and uttering things like "fuck you feel so good.." while she held your head and rocked her hips against your mouth, already sore from the fucking before but not too sore to absolutely ride herself into oblivion on your tongue. you definitely needed her to do that again, and again and again...

eventually you both fell asleep naked and exhausted around 4 am and both woke up naturally around 10 the next morning. you both laid in bed for a few minutes, smiling almost a bit shyly at how desperate you’d been for each other, both of you turned on from the sight of little hickeys and love bites youd left on the others body - she made you coffee and lent you some of her clothes and asked if youd wanna come over again in the coming days - of course you did.

from then on, you saw each other more and more. sometimes you went on proper dates, like getting lunch and a coffee after or going for a walk and looking at some book stores or thrift shops together, a few times even driving out of the city a bit to see some pretty nature and get fresh air (maybe messing around in public a bit) but a good amount of the time you just came over to her place after school or work and spent the night together, relaxing together, chatting and drinking or watching a film before you inevitably ended up in her bed.

Van definitely liked you more than she said out loud. she did not go on any other dates after she met you, didn’t even talk to anyone else, she was completely focused on you. at first, she thought "oh this is fun, I have a hot girl that I can just call over and have fun with" but a few weeks into it, she realized just how far from casual it all was. she hadnt planned on it, she had gone onto the apps with the goal of finding a way to get off, not to fall in love, but... things were turning out a bit differently..

she started texting you throughout the day, asking you how you were, making sure you were fine, offering you rides whenever you had to be somewhere far from home or had to be picked up. she held you whenever you fell asleep in her bed and comforted you when you were going through something, she wiped your tears when you were embarrassed about crying in front of her, you confided in her and she often gave you little gifts to cheer you up - in general, she gave you way more than you asked for, she was sweet to a degree that shocked even herself.

she is old-fashioned so rather than texting too much, you often called each other, which turned into a sweet ritual: you having her on speaker when you cleaned your room or folded your laundry, her talking to you while making her coffee in the morning and saying "oh come on, you’ll do great" whenever you complained to her about a nerve-wrecking thing you had to master that day. her promising you "how about this, when you get done, text me, I will pick you up and we can go to your restaurant of choice to celebrate, okay?"

Van acted like your girlfriend, right from the start. she didn’t plan on it, it just happened because she liked you so much that none of her usual attempts at keeping her distance even registered to her: she forgot about them all together. you broke down her defenses without even trying and did it so gently that she had no clue, until she was already kind of in love. maybe not just kind of.

it only dawned on her how deep in she was when she started dreading the weeks where you spent more than a few days apart. it scared her, that feeling of "I need her. I need to see her. I miss her so bad." she had a full on crisis and told herself "I cant depend on someone like this. I just can’t."

she freaked herself out and imagined you leaving eventually, all of her old paranoid. avoidant thoughts came bubbling back up, so she spiraled and fucked it up.

how it ended:

about two months into it, after weeks and weeks of you sleeping over at her place, wearing her clothes, spending entire weekends together, you falling for each other and more each minute you were together, she called you over one afternoon and sat you down to talk.

you couldn’t believe it at first when she said "listen. I have really enjoyed this time with you.." because you were so startled by her sudden shift in tone. just a few days before, you had spent the whole night kissing and laughing and there she was, nervously tapping her foot as she tried to tell you it was over, or at least, on ice.

Van said some vague bullshit about "needing some distance" and "not being in a place where a relationship would work" and worst of all that you "deserved better than that". you couldn’t even cry then because it was so shocking - just the night before you had gushed to someone about how safe and held you felt with her -

she said something about seeing each other less, that she wouldn’t cut you off, but you refused let her have any access to you after saying all that - it seemed insulting to you, degrading even, after everything you’d done, you wouldn’t just be her hookup, her play-thing, without the romance you had shared up until then, so you just said "yeah no I can’t do this, I can’t" and walked out of her apartment before you might have thrown up or cried or collapsed or worse, trying to keep your dignity in tact, fleeing the scene.

Van tried to say something like "hey, stop, no I didn’t mean-" as you stormed out but it was too late, she had hurt you too deeply, had crushed your heart, so the moment you were gone, she fell into a self-hatred that was so dark and awful that she didnt open the store for three days after.

Van knew she fucked up BAD. she knew it was just her stupid old urge to push people away the second they had the ability to hurt her, but in the process she had been the cruel one, she had used her fear of vulnerability to make you deeply regret yours and it killed her. she definitely got drunk out of her mind that night to drown out the voices that told her "you didn’t deserve her anyway. she’s better off like this. you’re an awful fucking person. using a girl like that. you deserve to be alone. to die alone."

you were absolutely broken and wrecked to your core from the sudden break-up, you were shattered, so, when she sent you a text the next day saying "I am so sorry, I handled that so badly, can we talk again sometime?" you just said "no. leave me alone, Van. find someone else to fuck." and blocked her number after because you were so hurt in your pride.

you had opened up to her, in a way you hadn’t to anyone else before, you had given her your heart and soul, you had the most intimate sex of your life with her, you talked to her day and night, fell in love with her - the way she seemingly had for you - only for her to ruin it all for no reason other than vague nonsense about not being suited for a relationship, when youd never even asked her for one! part of you wanted to cave and run back to her but you promised yourself to keep your heart guarded from that point on.

the pain was too much. you were too scared of seeing her again and just breaking apart crying, having to be held by her, losing your dignity. you were so devoted to her for two months, you had been convinced that you had found your future girlfriend, that it was only a matter of time, judging by the way she looked at you and kissed you and held you, and you promised yourself to never ever let her have you again.

for a week it was absolute and utter hell. you completely isolated yourself and slept whenever you weren’t busy because you couldn’t face reality while not being distracted - you lost your appetite, ignored calls and texts, stayed inside on the weekend, neglected your chores and just tried to go more than a few hours without crying (it hardly ever worked. once you broke out in tears in the middle of the street because a song that reminded you of her came on)

after that first week, spite and anger took over. you tried to tell yourself that she was just some middle aged loser and that you could find way better than her (that didn’t help at all) - you watched films with actors she hated as a “fuck you” to her but it didn’t work either, it obviously only made you think of her more - you were irritable and pissed off and almost broke a plate once when you stood in the kitchen and remembered how she’d held you in her sleep, how she’d helped you shower when you were sick once, how she had kissed your back all the way down your spine when you laid on her bed face down, how she’d just sat there after doing all that and told you it was “too much” for her. as if she hadn’t been the one to shower you in affection first. as if you’d ever pushed her to do a thing.

about two weeks later you almost unblocked her because you were so miserable and lonely without her, but you were steadfast and just cried your eyes out each night instead, wishing she hadn’t ruined it, hadn’t pushed you away, the memory of her laugh and her scent and her hands all over you and her voice over the phone haunting you and messing with you so horribly that you cursed yourself for blindly falling for her the way you had.

eventually you managed to regulate your feelings somehow but you still avoided walking down the street where you two had always gone to get coffee. you still flinched whenever you saw a woman with long red hair. you still dreamed of her, all the time, hoping and praying that she was being eaten up by guilt. that she regretted it all. that she hadn’t gotten over you already.

how she got you back:

three months after you broke it off, you were sitting at a cafe, doing some work, blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.

Van had just gotten her cup of coffee and thought it would be really weird to sit at a table near you without acknowledging you at first, so she got over her absolute panic and tapped you on the shoulder

for a few seconds you stared at her, not smiling, not frowning, just processing, overwhelmed by the thought "fucking hell. I still love her." the moment you laid eyes on her face, her freckles, her hair, a bit messy but pretty as always, her outfit that was one of your favorites of hers, your whole body buzzed with that old need to reach out and touch.

still, you tried to mask it and just said "oh... hi." as coldly and unfeelingly as you could manage. Van was really nervous and a bit awkward as she said "hey. sorry, I really hope I am not disturbing you. uh, would you mind if I-" she gestured at the seat across from you. you crossed your arms and remained somewhat stoic as you said "sure, yeah", trying to act like her voice wasnt burning your whole body up, wasnt forcing the echo "I missed her, I missed her, I missed her" into your mind.

she sat down and drank from her coffee and cleared her throat, while you just sat there watching, waiting for her to talk because you wouldn’t make it easy for her.

Van started by saying "so, how have you been?" immediately regretting it after, realizing how weird that was to say to someone whose heart you had broken mere months before. you gave her a puzzled look and just said "well, I’ve been better. but it’s fine, nothing much changed since we last spoke." you wanted her to feel bad and she did. she really did. so she cut the small talk and got to what she had wanted to say to you for weeks.

her voice was quiet and low when she said. "okay. listen. I am really glad I ran into you here, because I wanted to apologize, properly. I know that it won’t change a thing and I know you might not wanna hear it but I need you to know that I regret it horribly. what I did. what I said. how I said it. everything. it was just... yeah I was awful to you." she admitted, looking at her hands, not at you. you could tell she meant it, you could hear the hurt in her voice, you almost teared up but you didnt say a word. you waited for the rest.

she went on "and I need you to know that it had absolutely nothing to do with you." and that made you scoff then, laugh almost, but she shook her head and insisted "no please, I mean that, it was my fucking issues, nothing you did", but you interrupted her and said, "Van you do realize that that is insanely hard to believe right? to be cut off like that out of nowhere, after everything we did together, of course that made me feel like fucking shit. like I went wrong somewhere without knowing. of course I have been wondering about what I did wrong, what else would I be doing?".

that made her feel even worse. her eyes went all soft when she saw it written all over your face and she had to stop herself from reaching out to touch your hand. she sighed and thought for a second before changing strategies.

"okay, this is gonna sound so weird but please bear with me. you have never googled me, have you?" she said next, which confused the hell out of you. you shook your head and she said "yeah I figured, because uh... well. you’d have seen something. go on and look up my name for a second, and add the word "yellowjackets"" she told you. you almost asked her to leave and stop the weird shit but you felt generous so you said "okay." and pulled out your phone, curious enough to see what on earth she was referring to.

Van realized that it would take ages for her to explain all of her trauma and all of the reasons why she is fucked up in regards to trust and feeling dependent on someone, why letting herself be open scared her, on a visceral physical level - she knew she wouldn’t be able to find the right words, she’d tried, she’d drafted letters and texts and had despaired over what to say if she ever saw you again, but sitting there she thought fuck it. might as well try this.

you typed in her full name and added "yellowjackets" after - Van watched your face intently, a bit scared, a bit embarrassed and saw it then: your utter disbelief. the search results flashed in front of your eyes: words like "plane crash", "mysterious case", "true crime", "cannibalism", "cult", "miracle", "rescue". a bunch of links to podcasts discussing the case of the plane that crashed in the 90s with a high school soccer team and sure enough her name "Van Palmer" among a bunch of others, again and again, a blurry picture of a young redhead that was obviously her next to other girls.

you couldn’t process it - you silently scrolled through a few articles and skimmed them as she whispered "yeah.... yeah. and I am not making you look at that to use it as an excuse for how I acted, absolutely not, that was my fault, fully. but maybe this sheds a light on why I am... well. you know" - "fucked up" you finished her thought, which made her laugh in relief, the fact that dark humor was still something you were willing to offer her, "yes. exactly."

you hated to admit it but it did make you see things a bit differently then - she’d told you about her mother, her home life, and that horrible nightmare-ish experience on top of her already less than ideal upbringing seemed like an explanation for how she’d acted, why she might have some issues with closeness. it wasn’t an excuse but you could acknowledge that her trauma was uniquely awful: at age seventeen, all of that.

for second you felt like crying, thinking of her at that age, being that scared and hurt. in a way it impressed you almost, that she wasn’t a completely lost cause, that she was so charming and funny and able to put up a tough front. a lot of conflicting feelings swirled around in you then.

her heart beat out of her chest as she watched you process it all but she was also a bit impressed by the fact that you didnt seem scared or disgusted. she was prepared for you to yell at her that she was a fucking freak for keeping that from you, that she was a disgusting person and should leave you alone for good, that you felt deceived, but you did none of that.

you were quiet and eventually put the phone down, looking at her, and shaking your head, sighing, "god. so you lived in the fucking woods for 19 months as a girl and actually survived all that??" unable to believe it. Van nodded and said "yeah... would have been better for you if I had perished out there, huh", which got the first hint of a smile from you. you tilted your head and said "no. it wouldnt have.", genuine, almost as if to say "you idiot. I love you so fucking much." which didn’t escape her.

Van was bold enough to touch your hand then, to hold it and to say "god I am so sorry. really. I thought of you every day, it killed me." she confessed. "so did I." you told her, which only softened her more. she leaned forward and squeezed your hands, whispering "please. you don’t have to forgive me at all but give me another chance. let me make it up to you."

you really struggled then for a second because you had told yourself again and again that she was dead to you, that she would never be allowed to have you again, but looking at her in that evening light, her hair on fire, her face kind and open - actually seeing her again, hearing her, feeling her touch, it made it impossible to deny it: you wanted her back. you wanted her back more than anything.

she seemed genuinely sorry and you knew you would regret it all your life if youd deny yourself a second chance with her, so you nodded tentatively and said "alright. let’s see what you got", which made her smile as if the sun had just come up for the first time since three months of pitch black. she couldn’t believe that youd actually agreed, so she took both your hands in both of hers and kissed your knuckles briefly, while saying "I missed you... I missed you so much."

in that moment you thought about her past, the fact that the woman youd cried over for weeks had been the subject of many articles and podcasts and crime documentaries, and you hadn’t been aware at all - it made you feel an unexpected rush. a sense of power. that someone who apparently had a past of brutality and cannibalism and feral living, had often been so soft and submissive with you, had let you boss her around and manhandle her, had wanted you to. it made your grin to yourself, and she caught it, that you liked it, having someone with a past like that throwing yourself at your feet while begging for forgiveness.

it turned you on, to think that Van was portrayed as a barbaric monster in some of the discussions about her time out there, when she had often surrendered to you, had never tried to overpower you because she liked being your baby, she liked being all weak in private, while seeming tough out in public. she had missed it terribly, she had missed it to a point of almost going insane, the way she had felt in your arms, when you stroked her hair and kissed her, when you gave her exactly what she needed, when you turned her on with just a simple touch.

"so uh" she said then "do you wanna maybe.. come home with me, like.. right now" you agreed and got up with her to leave the cafe and go to her place which was a few blocks away.

as you walked, you definitely teased her about what you had just found out, asking her things like "so. did you guys all have group lesbian stuff going on out there, or..." which she laughed at and said "oh, no, nothing that fun, we were too busy starving and fighting and having freaky religious ideas to all fuck each other. but who knows, maybe I just don’t remember" she was glad to see that you could laugh with her again, that you let her take your arm, that you were amused by her past instead of disgusted or shocked.

"I really fucking suffered you know" you said as you took off your jacket in her apartment "I couldn’t eat for like three days after, I cried so much it started pissing me off, I couldn’t go anywhere because it all reminded me of you. you did me in good" you were in the mood to rub it in a bit, and it worked, she made a sound of pain and looked at you "no, no, stop", but you went on as you sat down on the couch and said "yeah, I was a wreck, you ruined me."

Van joined you and said "if it makes you feel any better if was close to calling 911 on myself not once but twice because I was convinced you could physically die of heartache, so. there’s that." you could tell she wasnt lying, so you said "yeah it does actually", not meaning it, since you hated the idea of her in pain, even when you were cross with her.

you wouldn’t just let her kiss you. you sat close together and she was clearly very desperate to touch you, so you said "beg me for it. I remember you being quite good at that." your tone stern, your eyes never leaving hers, and that made her weak in the knees then.

she flushed and nodded as she leaned closer to you and whispered "I missed you so much, you have no idea. I dreamed of you all the time, all the fucking time, I havent been with anyone since, I couldn’t, didnt want to. I need you to touch me so bad, please. please..." she kissed your cheek, once, twice, a third time, gently, as she caressed your neck, waiting for you to cave. you closed your eyes and soaked it up, being pleaded with. she gave you more, "I will do whatever you want, I will do anything. you can do whatever you want to me."

that was the way to win you over for good, she knew it, you opened your eyes again and took her face in your hands then. you stared at her lips, then at her eyes and said "I should punish you, you know."

instead of protesting Van sighed "please. yes." which made you lean in and breathe against her lips, smiling "yeah?", her whole body hot with sheer need.

Van had always been somewhat of a masochist but with you, right then, it was even more intense because she believed she deserved whatever pain you would make her feel. she craved it. she wanted you to take it out on her. she wanted to repent. you could tell. but you would keep that for another time. in that moment, all you wanted was to have her at your mercy, and you did, so you eventually leaned in and kissed her.

the hours after were a total blur. all of your unspoken feelings bursting out at once, both of you clinging to each other and kissing like you had been separated for years - it was deeply charged and emotional and intense in a way that surpassed everything you’d done before, you almost cried at certain points when you fucked that evening, both of you, because you’d missed it so much. the one upside of all the ache and the hurt over her was that fucking again made you both orgasm in ways that almost scared you in their intensity, similar to your first time of having sex, but so different too, a shared attempt at melting back into each other after your period of almost dying of heart ache over each other.

from that point on Van worshipped the ground you walked on. she had been a sweet lover before but the thrill of you letting her back into your life, opening your heart again, made her feel such a deep sense of gratitude, that she became an even better lover to you, just to prove herself worthy of your grace. she wouldnt lose you again. no way. no way in hell.

the day after getting back together, in the morning, she used a quiet moment to look at you and ask "so. do you want to be my girlfriend." making sure that you knew she was deeply serious about you, that she was not going to back away again, that she wanted you to be hers for good.

you took a second to answer, to make her wait, but then you smiled and said "yes. of course." which made her come over to where you were sitting to tightly wrap her arms around you from behind and kiss your neck, whispering "I love you, I did all along, you know", something neither of you had said before, and she didnt expect you to say it back but you did - you stood up and face her, your hands on her waist "I love you too. so much. it nearly cost my sanity". Van kissed you then and as she felt you give into it and caress her skin under her shirt, she thought of the world "girlfriend" over and over and wondered how she ever convinced herself that that wasn’t exactly what she had wanted all along: you, being hers, all hers.

a bonus, how you had sex after you got back together, including the punishment idea:

you once tied her arms to her bed, to make her watch you as you got off. Van just squirming and whining and growing unbearably wet as she watched you touch yourself - you getting turned on from her gaze burning into your body as you jerked yourself off and gave her a good show, knowing it was killing her that she couldnt touch you or herself - you threw a "you sound pathetic" her way in the middle of it, to try and be mean, but predictably that only turned her on more... you weren’t all that sadistic, so after you finished and untied her, you let her lap up the mess youd made and let her get you off again.

before that though, you pushed your fingers down her throat to make her lick off your cum, but that wasn’t a punishment at all, she sucked your fingers off gladly, and deep down you knew that you were giving her what she needed, that she wasn’t suffering one bit, that she was delighted by your dominance

overstimulation. yeah, god help her... you did that already before but after you got back together, you really got into it: fucking her senseless, leaving her a shaking mess, making her cry from how relentlessly you were pleasuring her - telling her "this is what you wanted, right?" while giving her yet another orgasm, her just taking it and pretending it was too much when it absolutely wasn’t - few things pleased her more than having you manhandle her and get all over her, teasing her, pinning her down, adjusting her position to eat her out from the back while she cried into the pillow and lost her mind.

bruises. you had never been shy with bruising her but after getting back together, you definitely got more aggressive with it, sensing that she wanted it, having a physical reminder of your force - on her inner thighs or her chest or her neck. she loveees it, seeing bruises on her body when she gets dressed, makes her feel claimed <3

on the other hand, when you were on the receiving end, she loved being on her knees, especially during the weeks after you got back together - she loved to have you standing up or at the edge of the bed while she hurt her knees to please you, to eat you out with feverish need, to give you exactly what you needed and to be in a position of repentance. her every touch a way of saying "I love you. I wish I had never hurt you. I will be so good to you from now on. so so good. my baby" and it worked: you were all hers when she got like that, moaning her name and tugging at her hair and letting her take care of you, opening up again, literally.

sometimes you’d sit on the couch and complain about a random ache in your body and she’d immediately be like "I got it" and get you to lay back so she could give you head, whether you were dealing with period cramps or back pain or general discomfort, she would immediately be of service (I think her approach to topping/giving is rather submissive, she just wants to please, that’s it, no need to give orders, she just wants to take them and please, and she does. always.)

you definitely fucked so much during your first week back together that you both got sore from it and had to slow it down... you were starveeeed.

about a month into it, things got settled, you were used to being openly in love by then, being girlfriends - you realized that you had all the time in the world and fell into a comfortable rhythm, both in and outside of the bedroom - you knew each other so well that it came naturally. you also moved into her place eventually <3 and you took a trip together for the first time to get away and have a feeling of a fresh start <3

yeah, thats it 💌

[patolemus]

Wip Monday

Tagged by @gege-wondering-around @dontcallpanic and probably @novasillies at some point (yes I know I'm the literal worst please forgive me). Because I can never do anything like I'm supposed to, I'm not posting on Wednesday. This is a little thing I've been toying with per @superfluffycam-blog's request, nothing concrete yet but the idea is slowly coming together. With my track record, I'll either write the whole thing in one sitting sometime soon or it'll take ages (speaking of ages the Time Travel fic Is Coming I fucking promise!! It's been a very busy month but I'm done with my classes in like two weeks and then I just have to get through finals. I'll be back to post deranged shit about sterek after that)

The house is quiet. It’s always quiet these days, his dad away at the station for what feels like one long infinite shift, and Stiles running around town with a bunch of supernaturally inclined creatures at odd hours. On the nights he’s not running from certain death, Stiles keeps to his bedroom, headphones on and blaring music loud enough his eardrums hurt because at least that way he can pretend that’s the reason he doesn’t hear any noise around the house.

It wasn’t always like this. Stiles remembers a time when the house was full of noise, all the time. The low tunes playing on the radio in the kitchen, the occasional clang of pans against wooden spoons, the buzz of the television broadcasting the latest baseball game. Small giggles and loud shrieks of laughter, soft humming in the living room as his parents slow danced in the evening.

No one hums or slow dances anymore.

Stiles’ footsteps sound way too loud in the otherwise silent house. He drops his backpack by the stairs to pick up on his way to his room later, and beelines for the kitchen. There is a lone plate sitting on the drying rack, the only sign that his dad has come home sometime during the day while he was away at school. Stiles is not naive enough to believe that to be a coincidence. He and his dad haven’t crossed paths since… ah, Stiles doesn’t even know anymore. Between the werewolves and the hunters and the kanimas and the fucking crazy that has become his life, the days seem to be going by way too fast to keep count of them. These days, Stiles only has space in his head for the dates of the full moons.

He gets started on dinner before working on his homework. Stiles makes food for two, even though he knows his dad probably won’t come home to eat it in favor of getting something from the diner—a salad, most likely, because he has all of his dad’s usual haunts bribed and monitored, as well as all of his deputies, to make sure they don’t sell his dad anything that might make his health go sideways. Stiles knows most of them merely indulge him because of their own affection towards him, but Stiles isn’t above using that to make his dad stays as healthy as possible.

On the off chance the Sheriff does come home tonight, though—a slim, slim chance, Stiles wants there to be food for him to eat. He doesn't want to give his dad another reason to be disappointed, another reason to be mistrustful. Stiles still feels cold all over when he remembers the resignation on his dad's eyes, how he'd said he didn't know who Stiles was anymore.

It’s... it's been a tough year.

And I'm afraid that's all I've got for you. I've always loved the stories that explore Stiles and the Sheriff's complex relationship, how Claudia's death altered their dynamic to the point where it was hard to figure out who was the parent and who was the child, how Stiles became this autonomous, independent character we see in canon at the age of 10 years old. This is, in theory, meant to be a character study centered on that topic. Will I succeed? Who knows!! Not me. Gently tagging @dontcallpanic @salty-fryingpan @endwersed @novasillies @hedwig221b and @gege-wondering-around

[fluffypotatey]

Can we please see Javy (Top Gun) and Javi (Twisters) in a fic or blurb?

hm well i haven’t written their official intro to each other yet (and i do plan to in Jake’s pov) but i got memes for how it would go down!

it’s literally just two different memes but one’s edited two more times lol

[on-this-day-mcr]

On this day, November 26

In 2001: Frank Iero released "Heartbreak in Stereo", the first and only studio album released by the band "Pencey Prep" (🖤)

Stream "Heartbreak in Stereo" here!

[fairy-princette]

Based off of this post by @tartarusfairy

----

Wayne putters around the kitchen fixing himself a cup of coffee, trying to keep an eye on Eddie and Steve on the sofa without looking like he’s keeping an eye on them. Steve (not Harrington - saving his boy’s life really fast tracked the kid to a first name basis) had been over a lot more recently. He knows they think he hasn’t noticed since they seem to mostly hang out while he’s out on his night shift, but there are clues. Wayne knows Eddie and there is no way that boy suddenly learned how to make so many home cooked meals and remember to do the dishes afterwards. The two are sat with their heads tilted together having a very intense whispered argument. Wayne smirks into his mug of coffee - Eddie’s had a lot of half started conversations with him recently, acting like he’s building himself for an Important Conversation only to tell Wayne that he’s going out to buy milk, or there’s an extra band practice he’d forgotten about, or on one occasion saying absolutely nothing, doing an about turn, walking out the trailer and vanishing for three hours (not that he really vanished - Steve called to say Eddie was at his because Lord knows Wayne can only cope with his nephew vanishing once in his lifetime thank you very much). Now he’s not one to pry, but between Eddie’s sudden jumpiness, how much more time he and Steve spend together, and how lighter the two now are he can make a pretty informed guess on what Eddie wants to tell him. 

The whisper-arguing cuts off abruptly and Wayne attempts to appear casual as Eddie jerks his head towards him.

“Uncle Wayne? We- I need to talk you. It’s important.”

Wayne nods and sits in the chair opposite them, giving them his full attention. Just because he already knows what they’re going to tell him doesn’t mean he shouldn’t listen.

Eddie takes a steadying breath and Steve gives his hand a comforting squeeze. 

“There’s something I’ve been needing to tell you for a while.”

Wayne nods encouragingly.

“I’m-”

Wayne leans forward in his seat slightly.

“I’m not allergic to celery.”

[softerhaze]

idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think

[la-galaxie-langblr]

job rant incoming

[bisaster-energy]

im not even done my current kuwameshi fic and im already getting ideas about new ones...